What to do when someone is spreading a rumor about you
Most rumors start when someone confidently states something they don’t even actually know to be true. Then you have someone else repeating it. Then you have another person repeating it and before long, someone’s assumption has turned into a FACT. Simply because someone else had sounded confident enough that they accepted it as true. That’s exactly how rumors, false misinformation, and false narratives spread. So here’s what to do if you suspect someone is doing this to you:
First thing you need to do is to Slow Down.
Just because someone is saying something about you doesn’t mean your reputation is ruined. Your job right now is to not keep spreading it. So don’t go around telling people, she said this about me or did you hear she said this about me. Your job is to keep acting unbothered and not mentioning it to anyone. When you go around trying to clear it up, you’re just making it bigger and doing their work for them. And if you’re thinking, well you just did a video explaining what someone said about you, yes, that’s true but the point was to share the lesson. The claim was so ridiculous that I used that as a bigger teaching moment.
Second thing to do is to only address it when it matters
Here are some phrases to use if you do need to say something because it’s affecting your work or friendships that really matter are starting to be impacted.
If you noticed a friend starting to pull away, you can try: “I’ve noticed some distance, do you notice that too?”
“If you ever hear anything about me, I'd rather you come to me directly.”
“I’m not sure where that came from but that’s not true. If you have any questions, please ask me.”
Your final thoughts: Dealing with a smear campaign or a false narrative being spread about you can hurt but your job right now is to stop doing their work for them. Slow down, stay calm, and address only those that matter. Eventually, they’ll reveal themselves in their actions and others will see it wasn’t true.
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xo,
Dr. C