What to do when you keep freezing in social situations & what to do and say

Have you ever walked away from a conversation and ask yourself:

-Why didn’t I say anything?

One reason this can happen is because you can’t find what to say fast enough to match how you’re feeling. And by the time you have figured out what to say, the moment has passed already. And when that happens, most people will either:

-Spiral and keep overthinking it

-Tell themselves it was nothing and stay quiet

The thing with this is that none change how you’re treated. That’s why having a response ready to go before these moments tend to happen work.

Here’s what to do instead:

-Buy yourself time (without shutting down). You can try saying:

“Wait, say that again?”

-Next, try saying the simplest version of what you’re thinking:

“That felt a little off”

“That didn’t really land”

-Or you can put it back on them, so you’re not the one scrambling with what to say:

“What did you mean by that?”

-And if the moment passes, remember you can always circle back because freezing doesn’t mean you missed your chance to say something.

“You know I was thinking about what you said earlier (fill in what they said and what you wanted to say).”

Your Final Takeaway:

Just because you have the tendency to freeze doesn’t mean you can’t unlearn it. It’s a skill, like any skill, that can be learned and this is how you start changing that. So try this the next time you freeze and let me know how it goes.

Have a specific situation you’re dealing with? Head to The Lounge and ask away, and I'll get back to you with tailored scripts and tips. Prefer to work 1:1? Members get 10% off with code: Member.

xo,

Dr. C