The 3 Compliments That Actually Strengthen Your Relationship (And Why They Matter More Than You Think)
Let’s be honest: “You look nice” only goes so far. If your relationship feels more like logistics than love lately or you’ve fallen into the “roommate phase” you’re not alone. But here’s something most couples overlook:
The right kind of compliments can completely shift your dynamic. Not flattery, not generic praise but specific, emotionally attuned, connection-deepening compliments. Here’s how to use the 3 types of compliments that actually strengthen your bond and why they work.
1. Admiration Compliments
These build respect. These aren’t about appearance, they’re about your partner’s values, strengths, and integrity. When you admire someone’s character, you’re validating who they are at their core.
Try saying:
“I really admire how patient you were with (child’s name) today, you handled that so calmly.”
“You always find a way to stay grounded when things get hard, I look up to that.”
Respect is one of the strongest predictors of long-term relationship health. These compliments build emotional safety and connection not just feel-good moments.
2. Desire-Based Compliments
These reignite attraction. These aren’t just “you’re hot” (though that’s great too). These tie attraction to personality and presence, not just looks.
Try saying:
“You looked so confident at that event tonight. That was so attractive.”
“The way you talked to that client was such a power move. I loved watching you the whole time.”
Desire fades when couples stop expressing it. These compliments remind your partner they’re wanted, not just loved. That subtle difference changes everything.
3. Impact-Based Compliments
These create emotional resonance. These reflect how your partner’s everyday actions affect your inner world, something we rarely slow down to say out loud.
Try saying:
“When you stayed quiet and just listened last night, it helped me feel safe to open up.”
Specificity creates intimacy. These compliments release oxytocin (the bonding hormone) and help your partner feel seen, appreciated, and emotionally important.
Your final takeaway: These 3 type of compliments matter (more than you think). Anyone can say, “Love you.” But these types of compliments do more:
Admiration makes your partner feel respected, not just needed.
Desire keeps the romantic flame from dying out.
Impact reminds them that the little things matter and they matter.
When done consistently, these types of compliments pull you out of the roommate phase and back into emotional connection.
Need more help or have a specific question? Head to the forum and ask away, I’ll reply with tailored support. Or head to the book a session tab above for a private 1:1.
Xo,
Dr. C