Why Your Body Feels Sick Around Certain People
Have you ever walked away from an interaction and felt your stomach drop, your jaw tighten, or a headache forming, without anything obvious happening? It’s not random. it’s not dramatic, and it’s definitely not “in your head.” Your friendships and social circles can keep your body in fight-or-flight, especially when there’s judgment, unpredictability, exclusion, or that invisible pressure to “be easy,” “be agreeable,” or “not make things awkward.” Over time, that stress doesn’t just stay emotional. It shows up physically, often long before you consciously realize what’s happening.
How Relational Stress Shows Up as Physical Symptoms
One of the biggest patterns I saw in my clinical work at Johns Hopkins and the Kennedy Krieger Institute, was that stress from relationships shows up in the body long before it shows up in your awareness. The body keeps score long before the mind connects the dots. This often looks like:
subtle shifts in muscle tension
changes in sleep
stomach issues
jaw pain or clenching
chronic pain flares
headaches or migraines
And in many cases, people didn’t realize their symptoms were tied to relational stress until we started tracking when those symptoms intensified. Often, it lined up with:
interactions with a mean girl friend
unpredictable family members
walking into environments where they weren’t fully accepted
relationships where they were constantly editing or shrinking themselves
Your nervous system feels the threat, even when you’re trying to be polite about it.
Your Body Speaks Before You Do
Headaches.
Nausea.
Stomach drops.
Jaw tension.
Sleep problems.
Chronic pain flare ups.
These aren’t weaknesses, they’re messages. Your body is trying to tell you that a friendship, relationship, or environment is costing you too much emotionally, psychologically, or socially. Your mind may rationalize it away (“She didn’t mean it,” “Maybe I’m sensitive,” “It’s not a big deal”), but your body doesn’t negotiate, it responds.
A Simple Nervous-System Check-In
Before and after certain interactions, ask yourself:
Who do I always feel tense around?
Who do I feel myself shrinking with?
Who do I brace myself for?
Who do I leave feeling drained?
And then the most important question:
Who do I feel most relaxed with?
Your body already knows who feels safe, trust that, it’s data. And the people who bring out your softness, calm, openness, and curiosity, those are the relationships that are expanding you. The people who trigger survival mode? Your body has been trying to tell you something for a long time.
If this post hit you in your chest, it’s probably because you’ve been absorbing the weight of friendships or family dynamics that you’ve:
outgrown,
outpaced,
or been quietly enduring.
You deserve relationships that feel safe in your nervous system, not ones that activate old wounds, social tension, or chronic people-pleasing. If you need help breaking those patterns, repairing healthier connections, or choosing better friendships going forward, I can help you with that. Head to The Lounge and ask your consult question, I’ll get back to you with tailored coaching tips & others can chime in with support.
You can also head to the guide section and download the following (they’re already included with your membership) guides so you can learn the tools and phrases to help you stop choosing friendships that keep your body in survival mode and start choosing the ones your body can finally relax in:
-Go First: Your 6-Week Roadmap to Making & Finding the Right Friends
-A Step-by-Step Guide to Help you Stop Being the Fringe Friend
-The Friendship Audit
-A Step-by-Step Guide to Handle Grown Mean Girls Without the Drama
And if you’re looking for more in-depth support you can book a session with me by heading to the Book a Session tab above. Members get 10% just use code: Member when booking.
xo,
Dr. C