What to Do When You Run Into Someone You Didn’t Want to See

It happens when you least expect it. You’re grabbing milk at the grocery store, standing at school pickup, or running a quick errand and suddenly you lock eyes with that person. The ex-friend, the mean girl mom, the sister-in-law you’ve been avoiding.

Your heart skips. Your brain scrambles. Do you hide? Pretend you didn’t see them? Force a smile you don’t mean? Here’s the good news, you don’t need to panic or fake your way through it. With the right tools, you can handle these moments calmly, confidently, and without regret later.

Step 1: Acknowledge Without Stopping

Sometimes the cleanest move is the simplest.

• A small nod or brief wave is enough.

• Keep walking and don’t slow down or over-explain.

This communicates: “I saw you. I don’t have time. I’m moving on.” You’re polite but boundaried.

Step 2: Use a Neutral Verbal Acknowledge

If you want to say something (without pretending you’re thrilled), keep it short and neutral.

• “Hi.”

• “Hey there.”

• “Look at that timing.” (playful but not fake acknowledges the moment without warmth you don’t feel).

Notice what’s missing? The forced “Good to see you!” that often feels dishonest. You don’t have to say it if you don’t mean it.

Step 3: Exit If They Try to Chat

If they stop you and you don’t want to linger, you can stay polite while setting a boundary. 

• “I have to get going (or I’m in a rush), but see you around.”

The key here is tone and body language. Say it warmly but keep moving. Your movement does the boundary-setting for you.

The Bigger Shift: Why This Doesn’t Have to Get to You

Running into someone you didn’t want to see feels uncomfortable because it triggers old dynamics: guilt, people-pleasing, or the urge to explain yourself. But the moment you realize:

• You don’t need to explain why you’re leaving.

• You don’t need to pretend you’re happy.

• You don’t need to give them more than a polite nod…

…the power of the run-in fades.

When you practice showing up differently, calm, neutral, and with a back-pocket phrase ready you stop walking away from these moments replaying them in your head. You leave proud of how you handled it.

Have a specific question? Head to The Lounge and ask away, others can chime in for support & I’ll get back to you with tailored suggestions.

Xo,

Dr. C