Comebacks to use when they ask "What Are You Doing For Summer" when it's a status check

-“A little bit of everything. What about you?”

-“We’re keeping it flexible. How about you?”

-“We’re still finalizing, you?“

For a more in-depth explanation, keep reading:

When someone asks “What are you doing this summer?” you can usually tell whether it’s genuine curiosity or a subtle way of measuring status. If it’s coming from someone who rarely shows warmth but suddenly wants details? It might not be about connection and you don’t have to play the game.

When the question feels more like a test than an invitation, your goal is simple:

• Stay neutral.

• Hold your boundary.

• Pivot the conversation.

Here’s how to do that without sounding cold or giving away more than you want to.

• “A little bit of everything. What about you?”

This works best for: When you don’t want to give details, and don’t want to make it a thing. It works because it’s polite but vague, confidently non-committal, and ends with a redirect. Use this if you suspect they’re comparing plans, and you’re not in the mood to be ranked.

• “We’re keeping it flexible. How about you?”

This works best for: When you truly haven’t finalized plans and want to be honest without inviting judgment. It works because it signals you’re not avoiding the question, you’re just not interested in overexplaining. Use this if you want to stay grounded in your truth without opening the door to a brag-off.

• “We’re still finalizing, you?“

This works best when you don’t want to share your plans or aren’t ready to share them. It works because it’s polite, neutral, and vague, without sounding defensive, subtly asserts your boundary without being confrontational. It also flips the question back to them, often revealing whether they were asking to connect or compare. Use this when the person asking has a track record of comparing, showing off, or subtly judging, and you want to redirect the question without inviting follow-up. It’s best for a casual acquaintance or another parent you don’t trust or who tends to compare or compete (e.g. “We’re doing Europe again this summer!”).

Make sure to avoid:

• Overexplaining: “We were going to book something but…” (this signals doubt and opens the door for judgment).

• Overcorrecting: “Oh no, we’re doing stuff too! We’re not just home.” (this feeds the comparison loop).

• Defensive tones: “Why are you asking?” (unless you want to call out the energy)

Your Final Takeaway:

You don’t owe anyone a full itinerary just because they asked. So ask yourself:

• Do they usually show genuine interest or just surface-level checking?

• Do I feel energized sharing with them or instantly tense?

The answer to how much to share is often in how the question makes you feel.

Have a specific question? Head to the community forum and ask away? It’s anonymous too.

xo,

Dr. C