How to Teach Your Child Their Strong Voice: A Step-by-Step Guide Parents Can Use at Home
Your child doesn’t learn assertiveness by accident. They learn it through specific, repeatable practice and the Strong Voice method makes it simple. Here’s the exact step-by-step process you can use starting today.
Step 1: Teach Them Where the Strong Voice Lives
Kids understand body cues better than abstract concepts.
Say:
“Your whisper comes from your throat. Your yell comes from your whole body. But your STRONG voice lives right here.” (point to your chest). This gives them a physical anchor.
Step 2: The Three Voices Game
Practice one sentence three ways:
Whisper voice
Yelling voice
Strong voice
Then say:
“That third one is the voice you use with friends.”
Contrast is how kids learn fastest.
Step 3: Add the Body Cue (Strong Body + Strong Voice)
Teach them:
feet planted
shoulders back
chin neutral
eyes forward
Say:
“Let your body go first. Your strong voice will follow.”
This helps them stay regulated.
Step 4: Practice Strong Voice Scripts Daily
Keep it simple:
“Stop. I don’t like that.”
“Please move.”
“I’m using that right now.”
“That’s my spot.”'
“No thank you.”
The simpler the script, the easier it is to access under stress.
Step 5: Role-Play Real Scenarios
Use actual contexts:
playground
recess
siblings
classroom
sports
Ask:
“What would you say next time?”
Then rehearse it in their Strong Voice.
Step 6: Celebrate Attempts, Not Outcomes
Say:
“You used your strong voice, that’s what matters.”
“I’m proud you spoke up.”
“That was brave.”
You’re wiring confidence before the moment, not during it.
Step 7: Normalize Saying ‘No’ Without Explaining
Kids often think they need permission or a reason.
Teach:
“Stop.”
“No.”
“I’m not doing that.”
No lectures, No apologies, No fear.
Your Final Takeaway:
Your child’s strong voice is a skill they’ll use for life, friendships, school, dating, sports, work. The earlier they practice it, the easier it becomes to stand tall when life gives them someone who pushes, pressures, or overpowers.
Have a specific scenario you’re dealing with? Head to The Lounge that’s where I take consult style questions and provide you tailored scripts and tips. Others can chime in too!
xo,
Dr. C